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Hi Ya’ll,

Yesterday I wrote a post on what to expect when you’re starting at university for the first time. This post is relevant to all university goers; first year or last year. Here are a couple of things I think are essential to being prepared for a great year at university.

1. Laptop

Honestly, I don’t know what I would’ve done without my laptop in the second semester. In first, I relied on using the computers at home or uni and it was terrible. It was so much easier to have a laptop there that I could just work on assignments with whenever and wherever. And also check facebook.

2. Pens

I colour code everything so multicoloured pens, highlighters and sticky notes are ALWAYS a must for me, but a definite MUST for someone who only wants to carry light is a bunch of pens. Especially in subjects where you write a lot, pens go missing all the time. You’ll start off with 20 and come home with 1. It’s the circle of pens. Don’t be the guy asking for pens, the dirty looks you’ll get will scar your soul.

3. Notepad

Even worse than asking for a pen is asking for a scrap of paper to write notes on. My preference is to have at least 1 notebook per subject. I’ve done the “5 subjects in 1” notebook, and I found it was so heavy and hard to carry around that I didn’t end up using it at all. However, if you don’t want to carry 1 big heavy notebook or even 4 small, little notebooks, at least make sure you have some sort of paper to write on. Sure, a laptop is great, but not too great to draw diagrams on or work on with teams. Pen and paper is the way to go.

4. Girly Things

Now ladies, I’m not talking about *whispers* time of the months things. I’m talking about hair ties, deodorant, roll on perfume and at least 2 bobby pins. In my experience, these are the things people ask for most (except the perfume, that’s to make sure you’re always smelling on point.) Why at least 2 bobby pins? Well one is your emergency in case you need one, and one is for someone else when they need one.

5. Waterbottle

Nobody wants to pay $3 for water.

6. A good snack

You never know when you’ll need that afternoon pick me up. A nice snack like an apple or a tub of strawberries will beat that expensive food from that expensive cafes anyday!

7. A good handbag to carry it all in

A good handbag is not only big, but also sturdy. It has to be able to hold all these things and withstand sun, rain and heavy textbooks. Don’t pick a cute, small handbag, because I guarantee you won’t fit everything into it.

Whether it’s your first year, second year or seventh year, I wish you all the best with your university endeavours this year. Let me know in the comments on, my facebook page what you think. Alternatively you can shoot me an email at anastasiaraz@gmail.com to ask me any questions, queries or concerns.

Lots of love,

Anastasia

Tips to Expect at University

Hello friend! Maybe you’ve wandered here in a complete panic about being a first year. Or maybe you’re thinking you’ve got this first year at uni thing down packed. Well, my dear one, regardless if you are completely petrified at the thought of being in a new place or feeling like you’ve got this, here are __ things you can expect when you start Uni.

1. You will have a lot of freedom. 

Sick of being kept in classes you hate? Well this is the place for you. Unless something is assessable, you don’t have to go! Don’t wanna sit in a lecture for 3 hours? Get up and leave! Which brings me to my next point…

2. Don’t ask to leave.

You’re not in highschool anymore. Not only do the lecturers care if you attend or not, they really don’t care if you leave. Same goes with tutorials. If you need to go to the bathroom, get up and leave. Nobody will ask where you’re going or if you’re coming back. Just go. Chances are, if you ask, you’ll get weird looks. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life, girlfriend.

3. You probably won’t make friends in the first week.

And that’s totally OK. Chill, sit back and observe. In uni, you want to be friends with the people who are serious about their degree, because you did choose to be there. In the flurry of figuring out your campus, classes and lecturers, the last thing you want is to be too hasty to make friends and end up partying every night and then failing your degree. Trust me, it happens.

4. You’ll get lost.

Depending on how big your campus is, you’re bound to get lost and that’s ok. What I found helpful was finding all my rooms in my Orientation Week and then it was easier in first week.

5. Buy lots and lots of pens. 

I dunno how, but somehow Uni gobbles up students pens. I’ll have 10 million one day and then come home and find I’ll need more because I lost them all. Where did I lose them? Gosh, I wish I knew!

6. Don’t stress.

You’re going to do great 🙂 It’s completely normal to be stressed or anxious before going into a new environment. Feel free to pop me a fb message if you’re feeling super duper anxious or just want to have a chat about being a first year at university. I’ve been there, and I know the feels.

Smile 😀 xoxo

Anastasia

Exams, Changing Degrees and Rain.

So today isn’t really going to be a deep post. It might not even have a point. And if you don’t really like those kind of posts from me, feel free to click that little red ‘x’ in the left hand corner (or right, if you’re using *ugh* windows).

So I woke up this morning full aware I had an exam this afternoon that I was not ready for. Why was I not ready? It’s quite simple really. I hated this subject. It was Australian Literature or otherwise known as the Most Boring Subject UQ Has. It was this subject that made me decide being a teacher was all wrong for me… Well that and other things.

After becoming a part of the Outreach Team at UQ (an amazing opportunity I would never change) I realised after working with grade 8’s and grade 9’s that being a teacher really wasn’t for me. I just didn’t understand kids and I realised I sucked at teaching anyone anything. I could no longer imagine myself teaching a classroom and feel happy about it. Let’s think about it for a second.  I don’t want to look back on my life and see that I spent 13 years of my life in school, and then 4 years in university, just to take another 10-20 years back in school. To all the teachers out there, I don’t know how you do it. I truly admire and respect you, after only doing one year in this teaching degree. And because of this, I’ve decided to change to a Bachelor of Business Management, majoring in Marketing….

Another interesting thing that happened today… It rained. Not just a little bit, it rained a lot. I had an umbrella and I was still drenched and walking in ankle deep water.

That’s a bit of a catch up on what I’ve been up to, but now that I’m on holidays, I’ve got a whole bunch of posts planned…

Over and Out xoxo

Anastasia

4 Ways to Find a Toxic Friendship

Hey friends,

I like to think of us as just that – friends. People who can hang out together through the good times and the bad. A friendship that is a two way street – you are there for me, and I’ll be there for you 150% back. But sometimes, we find friends who abuse our love for them. We find ourselves wrapped up in a world of problems that aren’t our own, but we feel like we have to  solve them. We are in a war against a problem that we can’t win. And the worst part is, this is our “friend.” What can we do?

I would say there are a couple of ways to tell if your friendship is toxic and whether it’s time to cut it loose or give it another chance….

1. They only talk to you when they need something.

I have a heart of compassion. The biggest problem with this is that I have a big problem with letting people’s problems go unsolved. Their problem used to become my problem. Key words here are “used to.” A toxic friend doesn’t really want to hang out or chat about you or the good things in life, they only talk when something is on their mind and they want someone else feeling sorry for them.

2. You’re easily replaced.

That friend recently gets a boyfriend? Be prepared to kiss your bestie bye-bye. While this may seem like something good, at the start, it really isn’t. Because guess who is going to hear about it once that boy takes the high road? Lucky little you.

3. If you don’t agree, you’re a monster. 

Maybe you want to give them a bit of advice, or point out the error in their ways. Nope. Sorry. Not happy to listen. A toxic friend only wants you to feel sorry for them. They don’t want your advice, if they don’t compeltely ignore it, you’ll be getting an earful of just how horrible of a friend you are.

4. They make you feel guilty over small things. 

You were at work so you couldn’t reply? “You could’ve left work early.” You’re out with friends? “Stop ignoring me.” You “saw” their message, and didn’t reply. “I can’t believe I ever trusted you with my feelings.”

Believe it or not, these are actual responses I have received from my so-called-friends. Darling, let me tell you, you are not in charge of your friend’s feelings and you are not responsible for solving their problems. You are responsible for you, and they are responsible for themselves. Never, ever, let anybody make you feel guilty for not being there for them. Sometimes, your friends need to toughen up, grow up and realise that they have to help themselves. There’s nothing wrong with listening to someone, supporting and loving on them, but there is something wrong with taking that problem, making it your own and then getting blamed for not fixing it.

I hope you never feel like that. I hope you realise your true friends will accept you exactly as you are and love and support you exactly how you will do for them. I hope you realise you are beautiful and loved.

Love,

Anastasia 

You’re Obviously Just an Attention Seeker

I saw a post the other day that made me so upset, I almost lost it, then and there. Here, let me find it for you.

Luckily, I did the thing where you take a breather before you start writing. Now, I’m going to be honest. I don’t relate to depression on a personal level. I’ve never had depression, and to be perfectly honest, for a while I’ve been avoiding writing about this topic. But enough is enough.

I’ve heard day in, day out, that “depression is just a faze,” “She’s not really depressed, she’s just wants attention.” The word “depression” has become somewhat of a joke within society, and is constantly linked to negative connotations. “Attention seeker.” “Annoying.” “Liar.”

To be honest, for a long time, I never understood depression, and I can honestly say I still don’t. I don’t know what makes people feel so bad about themselves and about life to have depression. I don’t get it.

But that certainly is never going to stop me from loving and supporting them.

So here’s my organised rant on this big topic called “Depression.”

Depression is diagnosed to hundreds of thousands of people every year. Now, I’m not a psychiatrist, but I do have some handy hints if a friend or someone close to you tells you they are depressed, diagnosed or not.

1. Do not say “you’ll get over it.”

On no circumstances is this ever a good idea. People suffering from something like that are very fragile and feel as though this is something out of there hands. While you think they’re being silly, they’re battling with their feelings on a level that you and I may not understand. Rather, encourage and love on them, while acknowledging that you don’t get it.

2. You are not a therapist.

Your friend or family member may just need someone to talk to, but remember that you are not a therapist. You are not responsible for solving their problems or taking them upon yourself. Listen, encourage, love, but the worst thing you can do in a situation like this is take this problem on as your own. If your friend needs serious help to overcome this, recommend they see someone who can give them professional advice. Not only is this safer for you, it’s also much safer for your friend. While you have their best interests at heart, it’s not always wise to give your advice, which could very well lead them into something worse.

3. Look after yourself.

You are responsible for you, and that’s what matters most. There is no point hurting yourself and losing your good spirits just because your friend or family is hurting. Make sure you take care of yourself and love yourself.

4. Ask them to see somebody.

If someone has opened up to you about how they are feeling, one of the first things I would do is suggest seeing someone about it; a school counselor, calling a kid’s help line, a teacher, an adult you trust or a doctor. The main thing with this situation, though, is not to push them into seeing somebody, and reassuring them that they will have you as a friend throughout it all.

5. If the situation becomes harmful..

If the situation changes and either you or your friend is in danger or physically harmed, it is very important you notify somebody who can help immediately. I know from personal experience that often your friend won’t be very fond of this idea, and often will threaten to cut all ties with you, but at the end of the day, their (and your own) safety is much more important.

Another thing, I want to address the people who are quick to call people “attention seekers.” Yes, I understand there’s some moments when it’s just crossing the line. I often scroll past anyone who posts vague, upsetting statuses as much as the next person does, but maybe we shouldn’t. What’s wrong with wanting a bit of attention? We all need it. We all crave intimacy and friendship and sometimes (especially if you’re a giiirrrlll *cough cough*) we feel pretty outside the circle of love. Honestly, we all have a bit of an attention seeking nature within us, and I don’t really see why that’s such a negative thing.

Let’s all try a thing. Next time you see someone post something a bit vague, and a bit “depressing”, shoot them a message. It takes 5 seconds, and if they don’t want to talk or tell you, at least it wasn’t for lack of trying. Sometimes, just knowing someone cares enough to say something is more than enough.

(Disclaimer: I do not endorse the posting of vague and “depressing” statuses, I much reccommend you confide in a friend or family member)

I hope this has been helpful, feel free to inbox me about anything and everything and hope you’re all having a lovely week.

Keep smiling,

Anastasia xox

Snippet of a Story

I recently realised how much growth and change I have gone through over the past few years, probably especially since leaving high school. I think some of the most important life lessons are learnt after leaving highschool. I’ve learnt I love writing; poems, stories, essays.. you name it, I’m your girl. After a bit of writer’s block, and a bit of reflection, I’ve decided to share a bit of my story here for you. So from my heart to yours, here’s a snippet of a much bigger story of my life as a teenager, and how it changed.

Let me take you back to an easier time, grade 6, let’s say, to a little girl, sitting in Mrs. Wren’s classroom, squinting up at a blackboard (yes, we used blackboards). All the self confidence in the world was in the eyes of this little girl. It was her first, “real” school experience, after being homeschooled for most of her primary years. She couldn’t wait to start grade 6 at a “real” school, and make millions of friends.

It was that year when her confidence started to crash.

Primary school kids can be the most cruel of all people, hands down. She made friends as quickly as she lost them, but there were only a couple of people who she could truly call “friends.” Ridiculed for being “too smart”, she soon was the little girl who sat by herself, nose in her books, as cliche as that was, it happened to her.

Needless to say, she left that school fairly quickly and went back to homeschooling. A month later, her mother invested into getting her some glasses, for her atrocious eyesight. She loved being able to see everything, and didn’t really care what she looked like wearing them.

Next year, grade 7, she started at another “real” school. This one was far worse than the last. With a mixed class and a total of 15 students and only 5 girls her age, she felt outnumbered. Her friendly, happy disposition didn’t help her at all. Almost instantly, she was ridiculed for wearing glasses, being a bookworm and a “teacher’s pet” (which she didn’t see anything wrong with, mind you.) Her “friends” had dated every boy in the class, and she was shunned for saying no to the one, “loser” boy who had asked her, saying she had “lost her chances for good” (let’s not forget.. grade 7!!!).

The rest of that term was a tough one. She had books stolen from her, deodorant sprayed into her face and forced to eat alone at lunch time, without the company of books. She was left alone in the bush behind the school, her “friends” saying they’d come back for her (Some friends, hey?).

Her feelings were hurt, she was scared and had heard so many curse words in the first week of school than she had ever heard in her life.

And it hurt.

It hurt being the only one who was left out. It hurt being the “weird, homeschooled kid” and the one who liked reading. It hurt being left out and made fun of. It hurt not having any friends, and it hurt knowing she was alone in school.

She begged her mum to let her leave after only going there for a term, which her mother agreed to.

This was the root of the problem, which followed her through her highschool years. In grade 8, she started at a lovely little school, which she stayed with until graduation. She had her fair share of drama and troubles there, but nothi
ng worse than the insecurity she had in herself, especially after hitting puberty. She felt compared, ugly and annoying to those people around her.

I just wanted to let you know, it gets better. Sometimes life isn’t fair, but it deals the same unfairness to everybody eventually. No one else’s life is going to be easy going all the time. Did I ever want to give up? Of course. But would I have? No way, because at the end of the day, your life is something beautiful, that only you can cherish. And you’re going to make it ❤

To be continued 😀

17 things I’ve learnt in 17 years

Amongst my many years, I’ve learnt a thing or two about life (who are we kidding, I’m an expert!) So I thought I’d impart to you some of my knowledge and hopefully you’ll learn a thing or two!

1. Sometimes life really isn’t fair, and that’s something you have to deal with. One day you’ll wake up and everything will suddenly be different. It’s inevitable. 

2. Being in school is living the easy life. No responsibility, no adulthood… I miss it.

3. Not everyone is going to be nice to you, but that doesn’t mean you should be nasty. However, being nice doesn’t mean letting people push you around, or use you for all you’re worth.

4. Sometimes your friends will choose boys over you. Don’t be that friend.

5. Love is easy to feel, but can be hard to do. Sometimes you don’t want to love, but you have to, it’ll keep your heart pumping.

6. You’ll feel insecure. You’ll hurt about problems that you never used to care about. Things will happen, and life is tough.

7. You’ll lose friends. They’ll love you when your life is good and ditch you when things get tough. Learn to be your own hero. Don’t rely on people.

8. Find your happy place and keep it safe. You’ll need it.

9. Sometimes you are the guilty one. Own up to it.

10. Don’t forget who you are to impress somebody. If they don’t like you as you are, they aren’t worth your time.

11. Let your friends help you. Go out to coffee with them, let them love you.

12. Eat that cookie. Yes, you might feel like you failed your dieting plan, but one cookie won’t change anything.

13. Saying something negative about someone will always come back to bite you. Watch your tongue.

14. It’s not racist to say something about someone who is black. It is if it’s because they are black.

15. Order your Vanilla Chai Skinny Latte. Who cares if you get called a white girl? Own it!

16. You control your own happiness. Choose to be happy. Don’t let the little things cloud your head.

17. The Creator of all things good calls me daughter, and that is more than enough. 

❤

5 Rules to Being a Good Boyfriend

Guys, if you want to be the best guy for your perfect girl, here are five easy rules (with pictures included). You must follow each of these rules, as if your life depends on it. Remember, all girls are the same.

Rule #1 Listen attentively to every single word she says.

Your number one role in the relationship is to listen to your girl talk all day, everyday. If she isn’t talking, then give her something to talk about! She will certainly appreciate it! There is nothing your girl will love more than to talk to you about problems  within your relationship you never knew existed. It’s a great learning experience for you and it gives you something to do, because you know you aren’t allowed ANY alone time. Who knows who you could be talking to or looking at. On that point…

Rule #2 There are no other girls in the world

Want a death sentence? Then mention another female name. Want a one way ticket back to singletown? Look at another female. Want a long lasting relationship? Delete all numbers, emails and photos you have that are relating to anyone of the female species. Yes. Even your own mother. Once you are in a relationship, your girl is the only girl in the world! The only place your eyes should ever be are on her! And if they aren’t on her, you better be sleeping. And definitely dreaming about her! Who knows the consequences of dreaming about another woman *shudders*

Rule #3 Become a mind reader

There are some days where your girl will just not want to talk to you. These days are often the hardest because she wont tell you what is wrong. She could be upset, angry, happy, jealous, sad, confused, scared, worried or completely emotionless (which is the worst ever), and you would never know. Its times like these that you need to gather your mind reading powers. Think its difficult? Its really simple! Men are born with an inbuilt mind reading mechanism. Somewhere along the line, women found this out and decided to stop talking to us. I recommend eating four square meals a day to train your mind reader. When your girl comes up to you, look into her eyes and respond depending on what you are able to pick up. Come on guys, its not that hard. Just read her mind and everything will be okay.

Rule #4 Give her all your time

Diamonds are a girls best friend. Diamonds are bought with money. And we all know, time = money. If you are spending time with your girl, you should definitely be making money to SPEND on your girl. Make sure that you are an Engineer, a Doctor or a Lawyer. Whatever you do. DO NOT WORK IN A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT. Unless you own 30 franchises, you will NOT make enough money to satisfy her needs. If possible, you should always have $500 sitting in your bank account for those days where she wants to splurge. When she wants to, let her. This is a true sign of love. Oh I almost forgot, when you go on dates, you better pay up bro. There is no ‘oh I forgot my wallet’, or ‘can we split the bill’? You are the man in the relationship. You make the money, you should be paying. Oh and forget ‘boys nights out’. Those should definitely be spent with your girl. She is important. And unless you plan on playing Mario kart for the rest of your life, video games are also out of the equation. Girls hate them!

Rule#5 Forget Grammar.

Girls hate it when guys speak grammatically correct. There is nothing more attractive than a guy who talks doesn’t know how to spell, doesn’t know the difference between there, their and they’re and never uses cApital lettErs or full stops. It will make her life easier because she will have more reasons to love you. Make sure you ALWAYS call her your girl. She will love it. There is no better feeling for a guy than to have ownership over his girl. When you call her your girl, YOU’RE CLAIMING HER! She is YOURS! And she will LOVE it. She will love feeling like she is the only girl in your world. BECAUSE SHE IS (see #2). Make sure to pay her as many compliments in private, but if you are ever around your friends, make sure you be extra rude and jerk-like. It makes you feel better, but it also makes her feel accepted by your friends. And always remember: it only takes one compliment to make up for every two – three rude remarks.

Well that’s all boys. In all honesty, girls are hard one to crack, but we love them anyway. 

Hope this clears things up!

-Karl

5 Rules to Being a Good Girlfriend

There are 5 fundamental rules to being a Good Girlfriend and I am going to list them very neatly and plainly… 🙂 

Rule #1: Never Ever Ever Complain. 

C’mon ladies, let’s be real. Boys hate it when you talk about all your bumpings and bruises. They don’t wanna hear about how much you ate that day or how your best friend stabbed you in the back! No Siree! They don’t wanna know about your pet fish dying and your time of the month feels! Instead, ask them what they want on their sandwich today and whether they want it cut into squares or triangles. ‘Cause that’s yo job. 

Rule #2: Never Ever Ever Express Your Feelings. 

“I love you!!!!!!!!! ILYSM!! 4LYF!!” Boys, as according to Hermione Granger, have the emotional range of a teaspoon. Boys hate it when you overdo the love. No “I love yous.”

On that note, boys hate when you tell them how upset losing your fave handbag made you, how much happiness that sale is gonna cause, or the whirlwind of confusable, unapproachable, unexplainable feelings. No. No, no. Boys don’t like talking about feelings, so don’t mention them, EVER. 

Rule #3: ALWAYS laugh at their jokes. 

Do you even know the hours spent pouring over the internet’s best comedies searching for the perfect “yo mama” or “get in the kitchen” joke to tell you? The shelves and shelves of joke books hidden in the undiscoverable, smells like old tomatoes part of his room, just to deliver the perfect poop joke. No matter how offended you are, the least you can do is LAUGH, if not at the joke, at his poor attempt to be hilarious. 

Rule #4: Learn to cook. 

Kind of self explanatory. No cooking skills = no boyfriend. So you better buy every ridiculously overpriced, Jamie Oliver cookbook you can find. Wake him up to a freshly made, 5 course breakfast and send him off with enough sandwiches to feed his all his work/uni friends! Make sure the words “I’m hungry,” never escape from his mouth. 

Rule #5: Let him play his video games in peace.

He doesn’t need to hear no “help me with the dishes” or “could you take out the trash?” Can’t you see he is right in the middle of his killstreak!? Don’t you know that playing any and all video games instantly vetoes him from doing any and all jobs you may ask him now or in future game time?! Jobs? During game time? Dream on! A good girlfriend will acknowledge this and continue to do everything by herself (which she should’ve been doing in the first place. Gosh).

Well there you have it. 5 Rules to Being an AWESOME Girlfriend. Ha-ha. 

Afer all the heavy stuff that’s been going on lately, I figured a comedic post was looonnnggg overdue. However, in all seriousness, some of this stuff is fairly accurate. However, every male figure is different and unique, same with every female figure, with individual needs and expectations. Communicate with your significant other and don’t be scared to express your feelings (aka, break Rule 2). However, sometimes guys need some space to relax or to chill out, just as girls do. When they are taking this time, LEAVE THEM TO IT!

Maybe one day I’ll write a serious “How to Be a Good Girlfriend.” Until then, ciao!

xoxo Anastasia 

I Ate Before I Came

I don’t know the first time I felt unbeautiful, the day I chose not to eat.

We see it everywhere. Everyday people all over the world face eating disorders. It’s all over the TV shows. From Blair Waldorf to Hanna Marin. Everyday people choosing not to eat. But why? 

These disorders can be brought about by anything, scrutiny from friends, family or even just from yourself. The one thing people don’t understand is that it often isn’t something that people can really understand, even the sufferers themselves. 

It’s almost as if you’re trying so hard to do your best, be comfortable with how you look and then suddenly you see yourself, in a photo, in the mirror or someone says it.. and you realise you’re not as pretty as you may have thought. 

Many sufferers of eating disorders know that it’s not ok. But they don’t know how to change. And I know that many of you may have come here for the answers, but I don’t have them. 

I just need you to know that you’ll be okay, together we can make it through another day – Superchick. 

I don’t wanna do anything but cry when I hear the stories of my friends of how they’ve battled their disorders. One girl told me it was like she couldn’t stand the thought of people looking at her and thinking “Wow, look at how fat she is.”

Fat. I hate that word. What is fat? It’s something you need, it keeps you alive. The body shaming culture we lives in causes people to shame and feel ashamed of what they look like and I hate that. It’s a culture that needs to go. No one, and I mean NO ONE, has a right to tell you what you can and can’t look like. They’ll say they’re doing it for your own good. But don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not good enough. Don’t let anyone make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. ❤ 

This one clip in this movie, Cyberbully, gets me every single time. 

I can’t even begin to imagine the amount of pain that girls who suffer from eating disorders sided with bullying go through. It breaks my heart that this happens all over the world. Young people all over the world get pushed to their limit, to the point where they don’t see the point of breathing or eating or talking. 

I don’t know how many of you reading this have had an eating disorder or a friend who has suffered from one. I just wanted you to know that there is hope. There’s a light on the other side of the tunnel. I know, sometimes it feels like the whole world is against you, and I’m not trying to belittle that. Your feelings exist, they matter and they’re valid. But, it gets better and there are people who are always there for you, myself included, even when it feels like you are all alone in the world. 

Stay beautiful,

Anastasia xo