5 Rules to Being a Good Boyfriend

Guys, if you want to be the best guy for your perfect girl, here are five easy rules (with pictures included). You must follow each of these rules, as if your life depends on it. Remember, all girls are the same.

Rule #1 Listen attentively to every single word she says.

Your number one role in the relationship is to listen to your girl talk all day, everyday. If she isn’t talking, then give her something to talk about! She will certainly appreciate it! There is nothing your girl will love more than to talk to you about problems within your relationship you never knew existed. It’s a great learning experience for you and it gives you something to do, because you know you aren’t allowed ANY alone time. Who knows who you could be talking to or looking at. On that point…

Rule #2 There are no other girls in the world

Want a death sentence? Then mention another female name. Want a one way ticket back to singletown? Look at another female. Want a long lasting relationship? Delete all numbers, emails and photos you have that are relating to anyone of the female species. Yes. Even your own mother. Once you are in a relationship, your girl is the only girl in the world! The only place your eyes should ever be are on her! And if they aren’t on her, you better be sleeping. And definitely dreaming about her! Who knows the consequences of dreaming about another woman *shudders*

Rule #3 Become a mind reader

There are some days where your girl will just not want to talk to you. These days are often the hardest because she wont tell you what is wrong. She could be upset, angry, happy, jealous, sad, confused, scared, worried or completely emotionless (which is the worst ever), and you would never know. Its times like these that you need to gather your mind reading powers. Think its difficult? Its really simple! Men are born with an inbuilt mind reading mechanism. Somewhere along the line, women found this out and decided to stop talking to us. I recommend eating four square meals a day to train your mind reader. When your girl comes up to you, look into her eyes and respond depending on what you are able to pick up. Come on guys, its not that hard. Just read her mind and everything will be okay.

Rule #4 Give her all your time

Diamonds are a girls best friend. Diamonds are bought with money. And we all know, time = money. If you are spending time with your girl, you should definitely be making money to SPEND on your girl. Make sure that you are an Engineer, a Doctor or a Lawyer. Whatever you do. DO NOT WORK IN A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT. Unless you own 30 franchises, you will NOT make enough money to satisfy her needs. If possible, you should always have $500 sitting in your bank account for those days where she wants to splurge. When she wants to, let her. This is a true sign of love. Oh I almost forgot, when you go on dates, you better pay up bro. There is no ‘oh I forgot my wallet’, or ‘can we split the bill’? You are the man in the relationship. You make the money, you should be paying. Oh and forget ‘boys nights out’. Those should definitely be spent with your girl. She is important. And unless you plan on playing Mario kart for the rest of your life, video games are also out of the equation. Girls hate them!

Rule#5 Forget Grammar.

Girls hate it when guys speak grammatically correct. There is nothing more attractive than a guy who talks doesn’t know how to spell, doesn’t know the difference between there, their and they’re and never uses cApital lettErs or full stops. It will make her life easier because she will have more reasons to love you. Make sure you ALWAYS call her your girl. She will love it. There is no better feeling for a guy than to have ownership over his girl. When you call her your girl, YOU’RE CLAIMING HER! She is YOURS! And she will LOVE it. She will love feeling like she is the only girl in your world. BECAUSE SHE IS (see #2). Make sure to pay her as many compliments in private, but if you are ever around your friends, make sure you be extra rude and jerk-like. It makes you feel better, but it also makes her feel accepted by your friends. And always remember: it only takes one compliment to make up for every two – three rude remarks.