Your stomach flutters with butterflies as you see him in the corner of your eye, strolling past your locker. You’ve never spoken to him before. But you don’t need to. He’s perfect. Him, with his long hair, his lack of ambitions and “cool kid” status. Him, who flirts with every girl he sees, who is long overdue for a haircut and can play the guitar like it’s a part of him. He probably doesn’t even know you exist, but one day, yes one day, he will love you. You can picture it now, the big white wedding, his smile, all the girls he used to date watching jealously from the crowd. Oh the love!
Lately my Facebook newsfeed has been exploding over Kardashians, who is dating who and similar “romance” stories. It got me thinking about the image of “love” that is being portrayed to the younger people of our generation. So here are a few myths about love that I want to pop!
1. Love = Feeling.
I have covered this before, but it can never be said enough. You don’t always feel love towards the person you are with. Sometimes you’re annoyed, upset, frustrated and angry. And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them. You don’t always feel happy, excited and loving towards your significant other. Sometimes you’re tired. Sometimes you got out of bed on 
the wrong side.
But this goes the other way too. Just because you get butterflies in your tummy around him, it doesn’t mean you love him. Just because you want to be his girlfriend, doesn’t mean you love him. You might. But you also might just be crushing on him. Don’t get the two confused.
2. Love at first sight!
Sorry Nicholas Sparks, but I am not a believer of love at first sight. You can disagree with me, but hear me out. Firstly, I don’t think that it is possible to love someone who you have never spoken to. Sure, they may have a hot bod, but can they take care of you? Are they fun to be around? Do they make you laugh? Or have they got zero goals for their life? Do they make you feel like you’re talking to a brick wall? How do you know? You’ve never spoken to him!
3. Love = Sex.
I wasn’t sure if I was going to cover this one, but I think it’s important. Ladies, if you have a conviction to wait until marriage and your partner does not respect that or thinks it’s a stupid idea, you’re probably not with the One. Sex is the most intimate way you can be with someone, ever. I personally am saving that privilege for my husband and my husband only. However, being in love with someone doesn’t mean you need to have sex with them. Dating relationships can be fickle. If someone doesn’t want to marry you and be with you forever and ever, do they really deserve that gift? You can love without giving away your virginity.
4. Jealousy.
“Jealousy is when you count someone else’s blessings, instead of your own.” With real love comes real trust. You hear things like “It’s cute if a girl is jealous, it means she doesn’t want to lose you.” No. Jealousy is an envious green monster that’ll eat you up inside, slowly. It causes you to imagine all types of scenarios and can destroy you and your relationship without your significant other even saying anything.
5. Relationship = Better Life.
I cannot stress this enough, but being in a relationship does not automatically mean all your life problems are solved and everything is better. When you enter a relationship with problems, the problems stay with the relationship. Your significant other does not make them disappear. Only God can do that. Sure, you both learn to deal with it, but don’t expect some sort of voodoo magic to happen just because you changed your relationship status on facebook.
6. Everyone is Ready for a Relationship.
False. Not everyone is ready for a relationship. If you’re 12, I highly doubt you are ready to be in the committed, “real” relationship that God wants you to be in. Something that always helped me when I was younger was remembering that within a relationship you either break up or get married. So why would I want to date someone who I had no intention of marrying? Another important thing: it’s okay to wait. You may have felt like you’ve been waiting years, but casual dating will get you no where. I waited 16 years, and looking back, that was a fairly short time. It’s okay to tell the person you want to be with that you want to wait it out a year or two. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen, don’t rush things!
7. Being in a Relationship is Your Life Goal.
I’m sorry, girls, but being in a relationship is not the best thing you’ll do. In the words of Taylor Swift “In your life you’ll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team.” And she’s totally right! You don’t want to be that
girl who is completely committed to “getting a relationship.” It’s not about trying to have a boyfriend. Being single is completely OK. You will do things that are greater than dating. You’ll touch the hearts of people, find a goal, travel the world… The sky is the limit!
I hope you found some useful tips for dating, ladies! Let me know in the comments what other things you’d be willing to see from me!
Ciao for now! xx
Anastasia ❤ 
To Heal a Generation 