“Broken” is the new “Black?”

Hey Readers!

This week, I was scrolling through facebook and stumbling onto something that, all at once, broke my heart and made me fume… it’s making me angry just thinking about it.

Okay, I’m sorry, but what? In what sense is this okay? This, my lovelies, is what is known as “romanticising” or “glorifying” self harm, eating disorders and suicide. This basically means taking something that is not okay and turning it into something that is a-o-kay. And we wonder why so many of us put on a fake smile instead of talking to someone who can help us or make it a little bit better.

Romanticising self harm, eating disorders and suicide isn’t a uncommon as you may think. Almost everyday, posts about being “beautiful even with the scars” are sprawled along my newsfeed, like an accident waiting to happen. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that. The problem begins when we begin to see these things as “okay” because society is making it “beautiful.”

Let me tell you straight up. Suicide doesn’t decrease the chances of things getting worse, it eliminates the chances of things getting better. I’ll never deny I’m a sucker for romance, but I’ll never allow that to be at a cost.

The levels of self harm, eating disorders and suicide are continuing to rise. The blissful ignorance we enjoyed in primary school has clearly been lost. As teenagers, we are led by our emotions. We get hurt, we cry and we feel like nobody cares. We allow people to label us as “stupid,” “annoying” or “ugly.” We feel like we have no purpose. I know. I get that. We deal with so much drama and have enough problems as it is. We don’t need to be broken to be beautiful. We all have all been hurt, but we also have hurt others. Don’t forget who you really are because of the trials you face. You are BLESSED, CHOSEN, ADOPTED, ACCEPTED, REDEEMED and FORGIVEN. Don’t forget that.

John 10:10 says The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (NIV). Our generation is facing destruction. There are so many temptations around us, calling us to be things we aren’t and whispering that we aren’t good enough. But those things aren’t from God. Jesus came to give life, and to give it to the full. Not just an average, ordinary life. A full, joyful, happy life. We can’t allow things such a romanticised self harm into our world because that’s not living life to the full. Whatever hurt you’ve gone through, I know that this isn’t the end. There is hope, life and light in Jesus.

Stay beautiful and until next time xox

Anastasia

Just a Bit of Sunshine

Hello Readers!

Negativity is something I see on a daily basis. My newsfeed is full of girls who wish they were skinnier, smarter and stronger. My tumblr dashboard has picture after picture of people who are wishing to be something they’re not. Society tells us to “be ourselves” while simultaneously shoving pictures of how we should be down our throats. I don’t know about you, but I feel like there’s something seriously wrong here.

At the end of the day, you can’t be someone else. You may try to be perfect and try to live someone else’s life, but you really can’t. So what are some things we can do to help love ourselves?

1. Know Who You Are.

Take some time to think about who you are a person. What are your likes and dislikes? What are your goals? What do you want to be when you grow up? Knowing and accepting who you are is the first and fundamental step to surviving negativity.

2. Choose Your Friends Wisely.

The 5 people you are closest to shape who are as a person. Who do you spend the most time with? Are these people who are in it for the nitty gritty or just cruising their way through? You need positive supportive friends and good role models in your life. The girls ditching maths to go get their nails done probably aren’t the best choice of friends.

3. Don’t Let People Label You.

My biggest fear during high school was being labelled. “Fat,” “annoying” or “stupid.” I wanted everyone to love me and want to be my friend, like they did in all the TV shows. The sooner you realise not everyone will like you, the easier it’ll become to be yourself. People will always have something negative to say about you. It could be the way you do your hair, who you’re dating or even how you get to school. The key is to know who you are and ignore the labels people try to stick on you.

4. Let Go Of The Past.

It is OKAY to make mistakes. It is OKAY to cry. But it is also OKAY to be happy. You can’t change your past. And while it still hurts, you don’t have to feel regret, anxiety or pain about what has happened. What’s done is done and not a thing you say or do can change that. Rather than regretting your mistakes, use them as lessons for the future and testimonies to others. Let go of the past and embrace the good future that’s heading your way.

5. Love Others.

To have a friend is to be a friend. Don’t just say you love someone, show it to them everyday. Make the people around you feel accepted and loved. The most attractive thing about someone is security in who you are. By being yourself, you give people around you permission to be themselves, and that is an attractive thing.

6. There is a Bigger Love.

Loving yourself is good. Being accepted is good. But there is a love that is higher, stronger and bigger than ANY earthly love. As humans, we are most easily controlled by our feelings, which can change like the wind. Don’t let your feelings affect the facts. You are loved. You are wanted. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Dueteronomy 31:6.

Positivity is hard to come by, but that doesn’t mean it’s lost. Don’t wait for the positivty to come into your life. Take the initiative and be the positivity.

Until next time xx

-Anastasia

Love Is _______

Hello Readers!

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, what week would be better to talk about LOVE! I’m a sucker for romance. I could watch The Notebook one hundred thousand times and still cry every time. I know what you’re thinking, ‘oh boy, she’s one of THOSE girls…” and you’re absolutely right. But is that really what love is all about?

Valentine’s Day isn’t just a day where a lot of roses and chocolate are passed around. It’s a celebration of LOVE. And I think to truly celebrate it, single or taken, we need to have a fundamental understanding of what love is.

If I asked you what love was to you, I can imagine some of your answers. “Love is that feeling deep in your tummy when he smiles,” “Love is the way you can’t help but feel butterflies,” etc. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but you’re wrong. While a big part of love is a feeling of affection, love is so much more than that.

Poets and song writers have tried to define love for centuries. We all know Taylor Swift’s “loving him was red…” Red? That doesn’t help us define love at all. Or maybe Rihanna’s “we found love in a hopeless place…” we still don’t understand even the basics of love. Many blogs and articles today will say that who we love is not something that we choose but I believe that’s wrong.

Love is a verb.

Think about it. If love was a feeling, we could use it to jump from partner to partner when things don’t go as planned. You don’t feel like you love your parents when they tell you no. But you do. You don’t feel like you love your boyfriend when he’s grumpy. But you do. You don’t feel like you love your cat when she’s meowing at your window at 4 in the morning. But you let her in anyway, because you do. While your feelings can change with the wind, love is a choice.

People love in different ways. Every person has their own “love language,” whether it be words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, gifts or quality time. They may show their love in one of these languages or all of them. However, they all ring true that when you love someone, your actions follow that.

The media is obsessed with presenting us with an ideal world. In an ideal world, people live together in harmony and cruise through life without facing a single problem. Unfortunately, we live in the real world, and in the real world, it’s not as easy to choose to love someone as it is to feel love for someone.

So, what is love? Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13: 4 – 7).

Love is a verb, so choose to love this Valentines day. Buy your friends some chocolate or spend the day with that special someone. Whatever you choose to do, remember that you are loved, whether you have a someone to tell you that or not, I’m telling you now. You are special, you are important. You are loved.

Happy Valentines Day! 

Love Anastasia xox

The Bother with Beautiful

Hey Readers!

We wax, shave, clip, colour and curl. We run, lift, squat, jump and sweat. We primp, tuck, apply, check and double check. We watch ourselves in the mirror, judging, fixing, scrutinising and wishing for change. We spend hours scrolling through “perfect people,” wishing we could have her thigh gap, his hair or that body. We submerge ourselves into shows that say we aren’t good enough, magazines full of skinny tips and diets that make us sick. We have been taken down the rabbit hole into a land of self-doubt and we aren’t quite sure how to get out.

While the rest of the world is caught up trying to solve worldwide hunger, child labour and human trafficking, it’s easy to dismiss our problems as “small.” If these “small” problems, such as body image, are really so insignificant, why is it that all through our schools and playgrounds we see young people suffering from anorexia, self harm and mental illnesses?

The reality is, we all care about how we look. We might not care all day everyday, but when it boils down, we care about how people see us. But why do we seek acceptance from strangers? Why do so many people have a negative body image?

Let’s be honest for a second. When you walk past the new girl at school, your first thought is always to do with her appearance. Whether it be how much make up she put on that morning or the way she wears her hair, our minds are quick to size up someone and form an opinion on them before we even say “hello.”

In order to understand our obsession with how we look, we need to understand a little bit about body image. The term “body image” was coined in the 1930’s and refers to how a person sees themselves in relation to what society calls beautiful. “Beautiful” is a very loose word, but society uses it to bombard us with ideas about how we should look and act. We have created it and we are consumed by it.

Body image destroys. I’m not going to give you a “top ten tips to improving your body” because I know first hand that no matter what you do to try and improve yourself, the world will always say there’s something wrong with you. It might be the angle of your nose, the crooked tooth in your smile or the way your ears stick out.

Our human nature tends to see the faults in our bodies like a big black smear along a white piece of paper. And how can we not? We spend hours of our time posting, scrolling, tweeting, tumblring and instgramming pictures of “perfect girls”. We see “thigh gaps” and tiny waists all through our newsfeed and dashboard. But are these really attributes that make someone “beautiful?”

So what is beauty? Where can it be found, and can we grab it when it isn’t looking and lock it up in a castle forever? I assure you, it isn’t found in a 12 pack of diet pills or a promise for a skinnier waist line. Beauty is found within the inner depths of your soul. It’s the courage it takes to stand up to a bully. It’s the strength you show when your parents get a divorce. It’s the compassion you show to your siblings. It’s the self control when you want to eat all the cupcakes. When you’re beautiful on the inside, it reflects on the outside, regardless of how many bumps and bruises you’ve picked up over the years. The little things that make you YOU are the qualities you nurture inside of you. Inner beauty shines through layers of foundation.  I’m not saying self confidence is going to happen over night but accepting your flaws and realising your inner beauty is a great place to start. Smile, Beautiful!

– Anastasia